


Gintoki’s Birthday Bash 2020: A Shameless Recruiting Ploy

by cultivationtrash (writing_in_the_dark), luckystars1015



Category: Gintama
Genre: GinHiji - Freeform, M/M, RP, flirting disguised as arguing, overt sexual innuendo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-20
Updated: 2020-07-20
Packaged: 2021-03-04 21:47:20
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 829
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25403323
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/writing_in_the_dark/pseuds/cultivationtrash, https://archiveofourown.org/users/luckystars1015/pseuds/luckystars1015
Summary: Just as the title says, this fic is a shameless attempt to recruit writers, artists, betas, and pinch-hitters for a GinHij/HijiGin fanworks gift exchange for Gintoki's birthday this October 2020! As shameless as we are, we think you’ll forgive us because this fic also contains bicker-flirting between the sugar addict and his favorite tax thief!
Relationships: Hijikata Toshirou/Sakata Gintoki
Comments: 5
Kudos: 32
Collections: Gintoki's Birthday Bash 2020





	Gintoki’s Birthday Bash 2020: A Shameless Recruiting Ploy

**Author's Note:**

> What follows is the transcript of a role play between luckystars1015 as Hijikata and writing_in_the_dark as Gintoki. See if you’re surprised by which one of us started the dirty talk first.

**GINTOKI:** Oi, Hijikata-kun. What are you doing? Wasting taxpayer dollars, just walking down the street and smoking a cigarette on a lovely summer day? Must be nice to not have to actually work for a living. You know what would be a better use of your time and money? Buying me a birthday gift. My birthday is coming up, you know?

 **HIJIKATA:** As if I’m going to buy a lazy shitty-perm head like you a present with my hard-earned money. Why don’t you beg your other homeless friends for some used _JUMP_ magazines or something and consider that a birthday present?

 **GINTOKI:** My friends aren’t all homeless! Well… Ok, they mostly are… But you’re my “friend,” right, Hijikata-kun? You know what kind of “friend” I’m talking about.

 **HIJIKATA:** F-friend? We’re not friends! Don’t put such disgusting words into my mouth!

 **GINTOKI:** _Heh-heh-heh_ … You sure you want to be talking in public about things I put in your mouth? 

**HIJIKATA:** Y-you--! I’ll fucking kill you, Yorozuya!!! [Yanks Gintoki by the collar and knees him in the stomach.]

 **GINTOKI:** _OOF!_ Ouch! That hurt! Ok, ok! I won’t say anything else about how much you like it when I really shove it _deeeep_ in your mouth.

 **HIJIKATA:** [Hijikata’s face flushes red. He prepares to stomp Gintoki right in the gut again, but the quick Gintoki rolls away just in time.]

 **GINTOKI:** [Grinning like an idiot:] Ok, I get it, we don’t have to talk about how cute it is when some of it dribbles down your chin when I’m done. I guess that means you’re ready to talk about my birthday gift!

 **HIJIKATA:** [A crowd gathers. Hijikata has had enough.] OKAY! IF I GET YOU A FUCKING BIRTHDAY PRESENT, WILL YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP?!

 **GINTOKI:** [Laying on the fake niceness thick:] Sure, sure, sweetie.

 **HIJIKATA:** [Putting a threatening hand on his sword:] Keep at it and I’ll make sure you don’t live to see your birthday this year. 

**GINTOKI:** [Pouting & feigning hurt feelings:] That would make a lot of people sad, Hijikata-kun. The final movie is coming out next year, you know, and it would be tragic if the festivities surrounding it were shrouded in sorrow because you had been executed for killing your best “buddy” Gin-san.

 **HIJIKATA:** [Hijikata face palms himself defeatedly.] Alright, alright. So what do you want for your birthday this year?

 **GINTOKI:** [Finger on chin, appearing thoughtful in a way no one who knows Gintoki would find sincere:] Well, since you’ll murder me if I say I want _you_ , over and over and over, I guess I want Ketsuno Ana, tied to my bed--

 **HIJIKATA:** Just fucking stop it, you depraved bastard!! What is wrong with you?! Pick something else that won’t end up with me arresting your nasty ass. 

**GINTOKI:** Fine, fine. I won’t say anything else kinky [quickly mumbles under his breath:] until I see you later tonight. [Back to normal voice:] Let’s see… Obviously, I want a cake, a HUGE cake, and one of those fancy chocolate fountains you’d see on luxury cruise ships, and lots of ice cream, but especially chocolate and strawberry, but also vanilla… Yeah, that’s really all I want. That shouldn’t be a problem on your bakufu dog salary, right?

 **HIJIKATA:** [Pretends to take diligent notes.] Okay, so you want a small cake layered with mayo frosting. That won’t be a problem. 

**GINTOKI:** [Crosses arms.] _Tch_. I should have known you’d somehow bring mayonnaise into this. [Sighs.] Fine. I guess I’ll ask for something I know you can do. You write a lot for work, and Tosshi drew doujinshi, right? Maybe you can sign up as an artist or writer in Gintoki’s Birthday Bash gift exchange.

 **HIJIKATA:** [Rolls eyes.] I write police reports, not fanfiction. I’m pretty sure there are other, way more qualified people who could participate in this “Birthday Bash” of yours.

 **GINTOKI:** You’re right, Hijikata-kun. [Gazes piercingly into the reader’s soul.] I’m sure there are more qualified writers and artists. [Giving dead fish eyes to Hijikata:] Plus, Tosshi’s art was horrible. Stay away from my Birthday Bash, ok?

 **HIJIKATA:** [Offended:] Hey! Tosshi is doing his best, okay! [Tries to look at the readers but is too embarrassed to make any eye contact.] Well, you heard the shitty perm head. Sign up for Gintoki’s Birthday Bash, or whatever. [He can’t take the attention anymore and leaves the scene.]

 **GINTOKI:** [Loudly enough for the crowd that’s still nearby to hear:] You’re leaving? Ok, SEE YOU TONIGHT, HIJIKATA-KUN!! [Addresses reader:] That’s right. Sign up for my Birthday Bash, or else luckystars won’t write the scene of what happens later tonight. [Pervy wink.]

AND SCENE.

* * *

If you are interested in participating as a writer, beta reader, artist, or pinch-hitter artist in Gintoki’s Birthday Bash 2020, we would love to have you! To read up on the rules, click the flyer below. 

[ ](https://gintokibirthdaybash.tumblr.com/post/623051271565393920/october-10-2020-will-likely-be-our-last-chance)

**TO ENTER AS A WRITER OR ARTIST, CLICK THE PICTURES BELOW AND YOU WILL BE LED TO A SIGN-UP SHEET.**

[ ](https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLScRH1WilY7QJoLhQhh2S7Tw_lGW8-82VURWYo6O1RciebfzNQ/viewform)

[ ](https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSf7Wql09Qdi1RVueF5ztTuB1wxjW7GeBSBdLCWoR723rESSYw/viewform)

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading this ridiculous piece of fanfiction! We had a lot of fun writing it.
> 
> This will definitely be the GinHijiGin event of the season, so please join us in spreading their love!  
> If you're just here to consume GinHijiGin content or for more info, follow us on [Tumblr](https://gintokibirthdaybash.tumblr.com) or [Twitter](https://twitter.com/GintokiBdayBash) !
> 
> We're really excited for the event & look forward to seeing everyone there!
> 
> If you have any questions about the event, please feel free to reach out to us!


End file.
